Samstag, 26. März 2011

Driving against the horizon

I was just reading my older posts and suddenly had a picture in my mind where a car hits the horizon and breaks down. I don't really know where that picture came from and why it is there, but it is.

It's another Saturday I spend at home, all alone, asking me what sense living under such circumstances has. It's just me and my boys again, honey. I mean, yeah, I have a partner who loves me, a roommate who likes me and I'm pretty good in what I do - although most people know much more than me - but I'm the brain. I can remember things until I got tested and then all over sudden forget them again - totally not awesome. But SATURDAY! And he prefers to play video games. It's like we exchanged Saturday evening for Sunday afternoon. But I don't want to live like that - I don't want to exchange hours against other hours. I just want to be with him. By the way, that's what makes me cry on almost every Saturday afternoon - this feeling of being desperate and insecure when I'm close to him. Oh, this thought beamed itself into my head as well. It was just like a shot, sitting in the bus and driving home and bam - there it was.

Actually, that shouldn't be a blog about my mental problems but it seems to become such a blog. Well, there aren't people reading, it's just me, so who cares?

Oh, if anyone else reads: don't worry, I'm already in therapy yet.

The sun is shining bright and it's weekend - not awesome? Well, for other people this may be awesome. For me, everyday is like a weekend. And every minute feels like hours.

Let's go crying.

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