Sonntag, 24. April 2011
Watch out - it's right behind your back!
Today was a very nice day. Eastern, I say, spend it with my family. And liked it. We were having brunch and a long walk inside the Open Air Museum in Molfsee and coffee with cake. Great it is. But I hurt my friend just badly. Told him he doesn't need to come with me and my family on this long walk, being angry at him when I wanted to do as I told him. I guess there it was, my evil me again and whispered in my ear to hate him if he does what he wants. It makes me kind of sick that he doesn't get angry at me because of that as I am angry of myself for doing it.
Finally got another camera. My brother bought a new one and my dad bought me his old one. Or told him to give it to me. Or something like that. I don't know but it seems like I can keep it.
I don't deserve such things. I don't deserve life being good to me and especially I don't deserve his love. I'm a monster.
Oh, don't forget to mention, it's Sunday again and I'm having the blues. I seriously need a free time activity for days like this. Something I can do even when the rats are running around my feet, just waiting to get more food to get bigger. Well, they have a good life here. I just wished my life would be that good as well. They eat, sleep, run around, eat, sleep. And they always have accompany with the others but they can go somewhere else when they don't want this accompany anymore. I hope I'm a pet in my next life, so someone loves me and I can live an innocent life, never knowing what cruel things I can do to others. Wow, that would be great.
Why do I hate myself?
Well, the monster is here now and I can't make it go away so I guess I'm going to sleep, hoping it will be gone on the other day. I have big plans for tomorrow, going on an Easter Egg Hunt and having breakfast with people who like me obviously. They'll all learn how not that lovable I am truthfully.
Good Night.. and Goodbye for now.